Take this test first!
Best taken in the autumn or mid winter.
1. Buy a lead and tie it to a big stone, walk around dragging the stone behind you.
2. Get up at 5am, go out in the pouring rain and walk up and down a muddy path, repeating good girl/boy, wee wees…poo poos, quickly please
3. Stuff your pockets with plastic bags and pick up all the poo you can find, obviously not your dogs as you have not bought it yet
4. Start wearing your shoes indoors, especially during muddy times
5. Collect leaves off the ground and spread them on the floor
6. Carry sticks and branches indoors and chop them up on your carpet
7. Pour cold applejuice on the rug and floor….walk barefooted over it in the dark
8. Drop some chocolate pudding on your carpet in the morning and then try to clean it in the evening
9. Wear socks to which you have made holes using a blender
10. Jump out of your favourite chair just before the movie ends and run to open back door
11. Cover all your best clothes with dog hair, dark clothes with blond hairs and light clothes with dark hairs
12. Tip all just ironed clothes on the floor
13. Make little pin holes in all your funiture, especially chair and table legs
14. When doing dishes, splash water all over the place and don’t wipe it.
15. Spread toilet paper all over the house when you leave the house and tidy up when you get back home
16. Forget any impulse holidays and/or breaks
17. Always go home straight after work or school
18. Go walkies no matter what the weather, and inspect every dirty paper, chewing gum and dead fly you might find
19. Wake up at 3am. Place a correct size bag of flour on top of yourself and try to sleep, whilst wiping your face with a dishcloth, which you have left next your bed in a bowl last week.
Repeat everyday over 6 months and if you still think getting puppy sounds like a good idea, congratulations, you might be ready to get your puppy.
(All joking aside, it goes without saying that a puppy is a huge responsibility and not one to be taken lightly and don’t forget – adopt, don’t shop!)